Ask PCA Your Youth Sports Questions

Do we 'over-coach' our players?  I have two sons, 13 and 16, who participate in a variety of sports. In baseball, for example, I notice coaches calling all the pitches. It is also prevalent in lacrosse and basketball as plays and advice are yelled in from the sidelines.

Is the result a more mechanical, thoughtless player?  Does the game have less flow? My oldest recently participated in a track meet, where coaches aren't allowed on the field and yelling instructions from the stands is discouraged. My son explained after his event that several athletes were unable to 'self-correct' their mechanics. I wonder how many youth athletes have ever been that isolated from their coaches. Are the coaches to blame?
-- Mike, Marin County, CA

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"My question is, can a coach bench a player for the season for missing a practice? My son, age 13, has played and won 5 championships and has been a starter for 5  years. Coach voted him MVP last season, and my son was a big factor in his first year of success as a coach. The first game this season his coach benched him.

"The past two games, my son has played two innings and didn't come to bat for the whole game. In the past, he always played 2nd base and has hit lead off. This year, the coach yells at my son, and when my son does make a play, the coach says nothing but 'Get to the bench.' I and others don't understand. We have yet to win a game. I'm thinking of withdrawing my son.  First, I'd like to know if I am overreacting."
-- Scott Miller, Fairfield, OH

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My husband is coaching our son's 9 year old Little League Team. There are 2 other assistant coaches, each with a child (1 boy, 1 girl) on the team. The coaches are trying to teach sound fundamentals to all the kids, and, as is often the case they are all type-A sports-loving men.
 
All 3 coach's kids have a lot of talent. All 3 are struggling with performance anxiety, especially in a game situation. All 3 are practically paralyzed each time they are up to bat. All 3 can hit at practice, but not in the game. All 3 want desperately to do well for their team and for their Dad. All 3 are scrutinized by their Dads when they bat because Dad wants desperately for them to overcome their anxiety and perform.

Only 1 child on the team (not one of the coaches' children) consistently hits the ball. I hear some encouragement from the coaches but they are frustrated and I'm hearing a lot of comments from the coaches like: come on be a hitter, you've got to swing at that, swing the bat, be aggressive, etc. 
 
I have tried talking to my husband, the head coach. He doesn't seem to be able to change his approach. 

Do you have any suggestions? These kids aren't having fun and I fear they will lose their love for the game. Help!!
-- Janet

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Is there a script for kind and positive ways to talk with a player who has to be cut from a team?
-- Betsy, Houston, TX

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This seems perhaps a bit too much. For example, an upcoming week looks as follows: Monday 6-7:30pm practice; Tuesday 6-7:30pm practice; Wed. - away game, 1 hour travel to get to game, one hour game, one hour travel home; Thurs. home game.

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AskPCA@positivecoach.org.

My daughter goes to a very competitive public high school with a winning tradition. However, some of the coaches with the best winning traditions are also some of the worst coaches when it comes to how they treat the kids. These coaches are allowed to scream and yell at our children with no consequences.

Our kids are put down amongst their peers and even cursed at in public. Yet the teams win and nothing is done. A few years ago our school implemented a Code of Conduct for all athletes and parents to sign. The Code is not strictly enforced, even though athletes and parents must sign a new one for each new season or sport.  

What kind of Code of Conduct should the coaches be held accountable to? When the Code is broken by a coach, how should it be dealt with? Our coaches are also teachers in the school and they are part of the union, which makes it difficult for parents to question a coach’s tactics and behavior because of the fear of retribution not only to the athlete (playing time, etc.) but also to the student and their grades. I cannot sit on the sidelines any more and something must be done.  I need your help!

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