"I coach an 11-year-old travel team. Before the season, I told parents that players would not necessarily receive equal playing time the way they do in our house league. The parents say OK to my face or in e-mail, but mid-season, some parents are complaining about their children's playing time.
"One parent asked why his son sat out 2 of the 6 innings, while another player didn't sit out at all, and I explained the only player who did not sit out was the catcher because our other catcher was injured. One player's parents cause a scene, asking their son from behind the bench, 'Why are you sitting out again? If you're sitting out again, we're going home.' I don't have any problems with the kids. How do I deal with the parents?"
-- Asia Lee, Dix Hills, NY
Posted by David Jacobson at 10/29/2009 05:17:39 PM |
I think it is important to understand the local community and the dynamic in which we live. Parents who are spectators want the best for their children therefore they may get upset when they don't play. We don't want adults/parents controlling the dynamic of any game. You are the coach and that is up to you and your colleague on the other side of the field. Being that said, when giving the parents the practice and game schedules you must give some sort of personal statement about yourself, your expectations, and your phone number and email so that you can provide access to yourself. Tell parents and other folks that any problems/complaints should be addressed away from the kids so that you can effectively control the atmosphere. If the problem persists you may have to ask a parent to leave, not come to games, or you may have to have security personnel at the games. Good luck!
Posted by: David ( Email: ) at 10/29/2009 5:58 PM
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Please don't read this as insensitive or out of touch but, as my wife is quick to advise me, get over yourself and the importance of your travel team. Why shouldn't all the kids play equally? By definition they are all elite or at least above average players, right? What, then, is the goal of your team: to be the best 11-year old team ever? Or should it perhaps be to further develop good players into great players who can go on to become high school and maybe even college players? No offense, but in the not too distant future no one will care what their record was 11-year olds . . . but you can bet that your town's varsity coach will be enormously grateful to you for having helped to develop such a fine core of players!
Posted by: Coach Ed ( Email: ) at 10/29/2009 5:59 PM
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A few things bear comment. First of all, I don't believe an 11 year old should ever catch the whole game--even if it means playing a first timer and losing the game. I've seen too many sore knees on kids too young for the malady.
As to your primary question, it sounds like you've done a good job explaining your philosophy and the non-guarantee of playing time. I recommend this be put in email or written form so it can be referred to later. You should notate to parents that you are reserving the right to be inequitable in your decisions and that mid-game questioning is unacceptable and grounds for dismissal. However, parents should also know that you are happy to explain decisions, in private, in a non-game setting whenever they like.
In this instance, I would immediately send an email reminding the entire team of this policy. Parents should be encouraged to make suggestions or criticisms directly and privately, or not at all. I would further ask for the entire team's help in enforcing this rule. A cheerful "Tell it to the coach", should be any parent's response to another parent's inappropriate public venting.
Those not willing to comply should quickly understand that you're quite willing to play the rest of the season without their little compromised angel.
Posted by: Dave Lapkin, Tustin CA ( Email: ) at 10/29/2009 6:24 PM
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Dear Asia:
When I was a coach for soccer I was make sure every kids has the opportunity to play 5' each time, but sometime when you are short with player you can't respect this goal. Children need to enjoy the game and coaches need to respect this vision, because they are learning to play.
I am not agree with some coaches, when they put on the field the best player,only because they want to win or win, kids between 7 to 14 are learning, and all them need to have the same opportunity on the field.
Having fun is the other point and encourage to do always the best in every game and work as a team.
Posted by: Blanca ( Email: ) at 10/29/2009 7:00 PM
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PCA's Parent Covenant is a great place to start. When parents and players sign covenants at the beginning of the season, it is an effective method of promoting positive behaviors and gently redirecting behavior which is unacceptable. If a parent or player is unable to adhere to the covenant, a coach can simply reference the covenant and implement appropriate consequences.
Posted by: Julia Mirek ( Email: ) at 10/29/2009 7:46 PM
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Perhaps if their coach wasn't so interested in winning, and therefore gave equal playing time, he would not have to contend with parent's reasonable questions. They all pay the same for the league, uniforms and fields.
Posted by: JimC ( Email: ) at 10/29/2009 8:36 PM
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Asia,
I feel your pain and have been in this situation before. The first thing you must do is not discuss this with the parent immediately after the game. They are obviously emotional about the issue. Often these parents pay big money for their kids to be on travel teams, and they expect them to play, regardless of your coaching.
With that said, contact the parent the following day, letting time pass will make the discussion much more productive, after the emotions have subsided. Be honest with the parent why their kid sat 2 innings. I tell my parents I have 12 kids to play and some players have to sit, that's really just the way it is. Hopefully you set their expectations when you started the season on how you coach and your preferred method of communication.
Most travel teams are playing tournaments where kids will get to play often during the tourneys, which should appease the parent. Tell the parent you have their child's best interest as your top priority and maybe sub the kid at a different stage of the game next time where it would be unrealistic for them to take their kid home.
Good luck and remember it's for the kids, not for the parents and not for you.
Posted by: Mike Green ( Email: | Visit ) at 10/29/2009 11:06 PM
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The short answer to your question regarding parents complaining about playing time is that you will never completely solve the issue. Some parents will simply not accept that their child may not be ready to handle more time/responsibilities.
But the more interesting answer concerns "travel" teams, which are essentially all-star teams. This poses a unique problem to a coach. As the coach of an all-star baseball team, I made it clear to the parents and players that this was a competitive situation and that tournament rules allowed for far less playing time than the "regular season" everyone was familiar with. I stressed the point, specifically stating that "some of you may only see one inning" in some games. Everyone nodded in agreement...until game time.
The problem was this: the parents agreed to the rules but assumed that it would be SOMEBODY ELSE'S kid that would be sitting on the bench! After all, their kid was an all-star!
I learned from this experience and now specifically explain to parents of travel/all-star teams that, although their kid is an all-star, somebody still has to sit on the bench. It may well be YOUR kid. This usually helps. But as stated above, expect that some parents won't be satisfied with any amount of explanation.
Posted by: Jay in CT ( Email: ) at 10/30/2009 6:04 AM
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We have 13 select travel teams in our program, so we deal with this issue a lot. We have four elements to this:
First, we clearly communicate our playing time policies to parents and players before the season (or actually, before tryouts). Our policy for 12-14u players is guaranteed 67% playing time, unless there are effort or attitude issues. Playing time above 67% is "earned" through hard work and performance.
Second, we hold our coaches to this standard. They have to report every week if a player does not play 67% of innings during the week. So, we hold coaches accountable.
Third, we set a culture where 1) parents are not allowed near the dugout during games and 2) all communication about playing time must be initiated by the player, not the parent. If parent's violate this culture, there are consequences (player sits out a game, etc..)
Finally, if we are doing everything right as a program and the problem persists, then we either suspend the parent from attending games or ask the family to leave the program.
If you are thinking "this is too much" for 11 year old select baseball, then you are probably right. I am not sure select travel baseball is the right thing for 95% of 11 year old kids and parents.
Also, if you have players on your 11 year old team that are consistently playing <67% of the time, then it's probably time to look in the mirror.
Posted by: Mark Gallion ( Email: | Visit ) at 10/30/2009 6:16 AM
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The "playing time issue" from youth sports through high school seems to be the hot button issue for parents. It has led to countless confrontations between parents and coaches. A potential solution is a very clear pre-season meeting for coaches and parents that covers the philosophy and mission of the program, the importance of attendance at practice and how the games will be conducted. Parents should be willing to sign off stating they agree with the philosophy of both the coach and the program itself. If they don't agree, they have an option find another program that provides what they are looking for.
Often, rosters are too large which makes it difficult to find meaningful minutes for everyone on the roster. I believe that everyone who makes a commitment to practice and dedicates themselves to the the team should receive playing time. I also believe that everyone should have an opportunity to take a break from the game and watch from the sidelines for a few minutes. Young players often need physical and mental breaks during the game and it is also an opportunity for the coach to address issues in a one-on-one discussion on the sidelines. Contientious substituting by the coach will enable everyone to play. Equal playing time for all players is difficult but over the course of the season, everyone should be able to play reasonable minutes. Parents need to be able to enjoy the game regardless of weather their child is playing or not.
Too much emphasis is placed on the outcome (winning). Players prior to high school or upper age level club teams (U-15 and older) must emphasize player development over winning. As players get older, winning will take on increased importance and coaches must be allowed to determine who plays and for how long based on program goals.
Program goals, philosophy and mission statements should make it very clear to everyone why the program exists and what will be asked of the players. Parents need to be reminded periodically of these policies and hopefully this will reduce potential confrontations about playing time.
Posted by: Dr. David Carr ( Email: ) at 10/30/2009 6:45 AM
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From your question, it sounds like the disparities in playing time between your team's most talented player and least talented player are not significant. If that will be the case, the coach in the pre-season meeting should present playing time policies in the positive rather than the negative. Instead of saying that "players will not necessarily receive equal playing time," say something like this: "I know that every player wants to be on the field all the time, but we have more than nine players. I will give meaningful playing time to each player, but minor disparities will inevitably occur during the season." Explain that disparities may be more difficult to avoid in baseball than in most other sports because most youth baseball leagues do not permit free substitution.
House and travel playing time policies should be set by the league's board, and not by individual coaches. If a parent complains about chronic benchwarming, the parent has a point; if the parent makes a scene about minor disparities, however, the parent may need the sort of disciplining that the board can best mete out.
Speaking generally, and not necessarily about your team. . . . Kids enroll because they want to play and have fun with their friends. Chronic benchwarming is a badge of shame, and coaches who maintain chronic benchwarmers should be ready for the inevitable backlash, regardless of what the parents or players said before the season. And the coach should not mistake the players' silence for acceptance because youngsters do not normally confont their elders.
Parents sacrifice lots of family time for any team, and particularly for travel teams. Parents of chronic benchwarmers normally pay the same registration fees and out-of-pocket expenses as the other parents. These fees and expenses tend to be steep these days. Benchwarming creates frustrations, and in my opinion is out-of-place on an 11-year-old team, whether house or travel. Some team member will inevitably be the least talented player, but gifted youth coaches can usually find a meaningful place for this player.
Doug Abrams
Posted by: Doug Abrams ( Email: ) at 10/30/2009 6:57 AM
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As a parent and coach of 5 with the oldest having gone through or going through travel baseball and softball I've dealt with this issue over the years. At the first parent meeting it's a great idea to let them know that this is a TB club and playing time is not guaranteed. I also have a policy of not discussing playing time with parents, agian making that point clear during a parent's meeting is important. If the kids want to discuss it that's fine, they can schedule a time to do so.If the policy is already clear, perhaps it's time for another meeting to clarify the policy again and address the issues of complaining during the games. Good Luck! Scott
Posted by: Scott ( Email: ) at 10/30/2009 8:12 AM
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Playing time is never going to be perfectly equal despite the best intentions. Unfortunately, the child sometimes suffers for the behavior of the parent. Maybe that player and his parents need a different team. The parents need to be part of the team too. That is an advantage of travel ball, you get to pick your players and your parents.
Posted by: Russell Rubin ( Email: ) at 10/30/2009 8:49 AM
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The first question I would ask you is, "Did you write out your philosophy/rules about playing time out and have the parents and athletes sign them saying they understood?"
I do this at my pre-season parents meeting and make it clear that this is a team at a higher level and if they cannot understand this idea then do not sign on for this team. A lot of parents have a different view of their childs skill level. I would request a meeting with these specific parents individually with their child. Let them know that this team is about playing at this higher level and as a coach you are putting who you think will be the best team to handle it. As a coach, they need to trust that. And then repeat your philosophy/rule about playing time and that they knew about this from the beginning. If they don't trust your decisions then maybe they need to find another team. If the athlete has issues they need to ask to speak to the coach directly and the coach can explain to them what can be done to increase their time out on the field.
It is such a shame that parents do not trust a coaches intentions and undermine the coaches authority. But if the ones that have an issue move on or change their attitude, the team will be a healthier team.
Posted by: Coach S ( Email: ) at 10/30/2009 10:42 AM
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1. You should note to parents if there are specialized positions- such as vb setter, pitcher, quarterback who will see more playing time just because of their specialized skill set.
2. Parents are usually worried about the money they have invested and the time that their child is getting to play. One thing to remind the parents is that most traveling teams spend 1-2 days a week practicing and that their child is getting individualized training and more attention than if they were attending a more expensive "Camp" situation.
3. Every child who sits on the bench should have a clear understanding of what they need to do better to get more playing time. It sounds like your athletes already know what that is. It might be helpful for the parents to get progress reports, as games are the only way the parent has of evaluating the progress of their child. Another option is to send email updates of what the practice is going to be working on and encourage the parents to ask their child how they did on that skill that practice. Communication is a must.
4. On games where you can play some of the bench, do so. Your talented athletes also need to know that at some point in their carreer they may be on the bench and have to come off and perform. The talented althetes also need to know how to positively help the team from the bench. At some level there will be a better athlete in their position and they could well be in a backup roll.
Posted by: Lynne Updegraff ( Email: ) at 10/30/2009 12:24 PM
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The single most difficult issue in sport, in my opinion, and I applaud your willingness to bring it to the table. I do not think that this ends when kids play on high school teams, nor even in college.
I find it heartening to see the number of posters here who understand that this is first and foremost about the kids. When one enters the world of travel, the issues become complicated. Some opposing teams, especially their coaches, can make the game a oomplete travisty unless a coach who would otherwise chose to play all his or her players equally, decides instead to be somewhat competitive by fielding only his or her best players. Is that wrong? Wow, tough question.
On the other hand, as many posters here have noted, if it is only a question of losing or winning, then it seems to me that a policy that does not give all the kids on the team meaningful playing time is difficult to justify.
On the other hand, there are some travel programs where kids, their families, and their paid coaches, are all about getting to the "next level" and the "next level" after that, and the team itself is a vehicle. That should not be a community-based team, nor do I believe that such teams have any place in the universe of adult created activities for pre-teen kids. Marco Etchivery, the MVP of Major League Soccer for many years, said that in Bolivia kids were trained as professionals without ever playing in such competitive leagues until they were 15--never even competed against players on other professional clubs; all games were conducted within the club, on teams that changed composition every few weeks.
Tough, tough question.
I was on a high school team that my senior year almost won the County Championship. The team played the five starters almost exclusively. Only one of the five had gotten anything but mop-up minutes the previous year. He was a starter and the star player our senior year. Four of the starters on the team my senior year graduated. The next year's team won the league championship, and did reasonably well in the post season. Three of the players on that team who had not played at all on the previous year's team went on to play Division I basketball; they were terrific talents. Does any of this make any sense?
Many would say that you can't argue with success. I have to believe that some who coached against our coach would disagree with that, and paid the "price" of following a different path. If so, in retrospect my hat is off to them.
Like I said, this playing time issue is a bear; among the most difficult issues in sport. 11 year olds should not have to deal with it, but this travel bug, when it bites adults really deep, can lead to grown ups making kid's PLAY into anything but.
Posted by: Rich Cohen ( Email: ) at 10/30/2009 3:55 PM
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First: Personal opinion, I don't like travel teams for ages below high school level athletes. Young kids need to learn sportmenship in the neighborhood and local leagues before they start being shuttled all around. Having said that, the coach at the beginning of the season present the parents with what amount to a creed of sportmenship that also clearly articulate the fact that equal playing time may not be accomplished. Use copy paper, player, coach and parent sign and each has a copy. So that when the critics come out and they still will refer them back to the agreement.
Posted by: Michael Smith, CSCS ( Email: ) at 11/2/2009 6:24 AM
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Postscript: Last weekend, a friend brought over a wonderful documentary on DVD about the most famous football game in Ivy League history, "When Harvard Beat Yale." Never heard of the game even though I was fresh out of the Ivy League and was a real sports fan. The reason for my mentioning this will take some development but I think you will find the story worth it.
For those of you who are unfamiliar, both teams were undefeated going into the final game of the season, but Yale, lead of future Hall-of-Famer Calvin Hill at halfback and the prolific Brian Dowling at quarterback was wildly favored. The first half did not disappoint. Yale was trouncing Harvard.
At halftime, the Harvard coach, whom all the players in the documentary described as an academic type who had little to do with running the team, decided to substitute at quarterback. The second string quarterback to whom he gave the reigns was a terrific passer, but was a nondescript personally with no meaningful connections to his teammates (according to him) who had not played a single meaningful down the entire season.
He performed incredibly and lead Harvard back from a 22 point deficit, throwing two touchdown passes and one extra point pass in the final two minutes to tie Yale.
An amazing performance by any measure in the biggest game in Ivy League history and the guy had sat on the bench for the entire season without having played a single meaningful down. Interesting, huh?
Posted by: Rich Cohen ( Email: ) at 11/3/2009 7:43 AM
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Coach Lee I see you have received many detailed and insightful comments on the issue, how to manage athlete playing time, and I am encouraged that many coaches and parents are practicing PCA coaching standards by being "Second Goal Parents". That being said I want to comment directly to your question.
As a 20 year coach (baseball and basketball) and professional educator I have many experiences to draw on and yet every year I am surprised by another parent or fan. So my first point is expect the unexpected no matter how much you plan.
As you play through each season I encourage you to make plans that support positive team and player focused goals. To your point I will echo what others have said about clearly stating your expectations and plans for considering playing time. As I say this I want to warn you that the desire to win by both player and coach will influence your player substitutions. My warning is not to imply and certainly not guarantee playing time to athletes. In my experience, as both a player and a coach, we know who should continue to play and who should enter a game. Players and coaches that have a common vision and understanding about practice rules, team talent and finally game day expectations know what is reasonable and what is high character behavior. For example when players self advocate you know your system is working. Each season players will have many issues that influence their performance and a player who self advocates and clearly understands the team vision will ask to be taken out of a contest or will seek you out before they become academically ineligible. I know we do not live in a perfect world, but I know from experience that if one team member exemplifies this behavior there is one more who is very close to the same behavior. Coach Lee remember this phrase "If you build it they will come" and in your case if you make a plan and model it you will be one player closer.
Lastly I have also learned there is no single solution to your question. Every season you have a different mix of parents. This is a variable that will always be unpredictable. I have had great success with two practices. One always have a team parent who agrees to carry your vision and goals to all team parents. Second pretend you are a Chicago voter and communicate your expectations and goals, like a vote, early and often. My method is to use a weekly e-mail to all parents that echos what I tell my team parent and then have occasional and yet unpredictable individual parent meetings, if only to say hello and connect.
Yes I know the chance for the difficult questions may seem to have a greater potential to arise but this proactive approach puts you in position to educate parents on what it means to be a triple impact competitor.
I love being a coach and I am passionate about basketball and baseball and yet at the final horn they are still just games. These games have made me a better person because of the positive lessons. Good Luck Coach Lee see the big picture and the details will align to your vision.
Posted by: Lowell Wightman ( Email: | Visit ) at 11/7/2009 5:25 AM
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PCA RESPONSE BY JOE SCALLY, DIRECTOR OF TRAINING AND EVALUATION
When setting expectations with the team in your pre-season meeting, it's important to make sure that your criteria for playing time apply to everyone. It is easy for parents to smile and nod about limited playing time when they believe the rules do not apply to their children. Your written parent pledge (see PCA's sample on the Coach's Tools in the "Free Tips and Tools" section of our website) could include a section on playing time.
Nearing the end of an intense tournament game I was coaching a few years ago, I was talking to a player on the bench when her father approached and said, "If they don't want to play you we're going home." He walked away, and before I could say anything further, his daughter followed.
She was a starter on a lower level team whom we had invited to play with us, but she was used to playing whole games. While she had been on the bench for about 15 minutes at the point when her father came over, she already had played about half of the game...as much time as most of our regular players. I was about to send her back in and was telling her what to expect in the closing minutes. She had played well in a game that was exciting and a lot of fun.
At the time I was angry with her father for acting inappropriately by coming to the bench to take his daughter away. He gave her the wrong message by encouraging her to disrespect her coach and teammates. He embarrassed her and soured a good experience.
Your situation got me reflecting on how I could have better handled mine. Most importantly, in the course of elevating that player to our team, I could have taken more time to tell the dad why I asked his daughter to play and what to expect. I could have told him that this was an opportunity for his daughter to learn by practicing and playing with committed players of equal or greater talent. That different coaches would give her some valuable new perspectives. That on our team, everyone played significant minutes, but very few played the whole game. That many factors determined playing time, including effort, attitude, skill, and the needs of the team, and that those criteria would apply to his daughter. That we wanted to teach some life lessons along with soccer skills. We coaches had told the player these things, and she understood, but we assumed incorrectly that her father also understood.
I should also have told him that parents may not approach the bench during games. That it's best to discuss matters with the coach at a scheduled time, in private, away from the field. That as a coach, I'm open to discussing any issues, but would prefer that players, not parents, raise issues about playing time, because a player learning how to ask a coach about playing time learns a great life lesson. That a parent shouldn't put a child in the middle by openly criticizing the coach's decisions. Some parents need to hear these messages over and over. It's the coach's job to educate the parents for the benefit of the players.
Posted by: Joe Scally ( Email: ) at 11/13/2009 12:05 AM
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Sitting an 11 year old out an inning or two is fine. Sitting an 11 year old longer would be stretching it for several reasons. Around 10 years old children become accutely aware that the world around them has an opinion of them. They haven't actualized enough to put it in a adult perspective. Significantly less playing time than thier peers will errode their confidence. This may not be as appearent to coaches as it is to parents. While the parents approach to dealing with the problem is not the right one. It is likley something that has been stewing.
At 11 years old a travel team for ay sport should still be developmental. It is important to remember that an 11 year old psychy is more fragile. As a coach you are making a big mistake if you put winning before the well being of your players.
The reason a 11 year plays a sport is to play. To develop into a good player, play time is necessary.
The letter about expectations, plus a regular early and often dialog will help you identify confidence issues early, preventing overreactions due to frustration.
Posted by: John ( Email: ) at 11/13/2009 12:43 PM
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Late to the discussion I know, but what nobody seems to have addressed is the role of the coach and their 'job security' in these situations. Regardless of how you feel about travel teams for kids 11-14 etc, a coach walks a fine line when balancing playing time. In a perfect world a team would have 15 'all-stars' all with the same ability, but we know this is almost never the case. More often than not there might be a significant ability gap between the #1 and #15 player. A coach that ignores this gap and substitutes equally will almost never recieve appreciation from the #15 player (because the parent doesn't realize their child is the #15 player) but will instead recieve the criticisms from the parents of the other players who don't understand why all the players are being treated equally. At the end of the day, these parents will look at the standings and move to replace those coaches who are not 'winning'. So before long that coach is ousted and the process starts all over again. This is just a fact of life in the travel team coaching world. At least where I'm from. I know it's all about the kids, but even the most well intentioned coach catches grief over these things. Rock and a hard place i guess.
Posted by: Jim ( Email: ) at 12/10/2009 8:18 AM
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In my opinion, once the child/family decides that they are going to play traveling ball, that has stepped up their competitive level and "equal" playing time is not assured.
Don't get me wrong because I think a minimum amount of playing time should be guaranteed (like 1/2 of each game or a certain amount of innnings each game), but equal time at the traveling level shouldn't be.
If you are still playing "In-House" sports, then I totally think equal playing time is necessary! In fact, I have designed a great tool for all youth baseball coaches to use that guarantees equal playing time. Check it out at: http://www.my-youth-baseball.com/baseball-lineup-template.html
It is very easy to use and will, literally, set up the team's lineup for the entire year! Each child will play equally and play each position equally.
http://www.my-youth-baseball.com/baseball-lineup-template.html
Posted by: Brent Henze ( Email: | Visit ) at 1/8/2010 8:14 AM
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