Youth Sports Spotlight

How Can I help My Son Motivate His Teammates?

My 7th-grade son has played very competitive soccer and basketball for years, always supporting his teammates. Recently, his coaches in both sports challenged all the players to improve on specific skills, but some players are not trying very hard. As a parent, how can I help my son demand vocally (even angrily, if necessary) that his teammates strive for their potential and do so without alienating himself?
-- Phil Carragher, Glencoe, IL

To answer Phil's question, click the Comments link below.

Posted by David Jacobson at 02/10/2009 05:28:26 PM |

Your son's age group is the period in most young athletes' lives where they decide to stick out a sport or try something new in life. Getting angry at teamates at this age could pose problems for your son in the future not only with his teammates now but also with other teams he plays on in the future, the behaivior could follow him. Leading by example and initiating positive challenges amongst his peers are two tactics that when applied will motivate your son's teammates and make your son a better player, not just physically but as a student to the game. Your son can encourage his teammates and establish leadership skills by being positive. This attitude will follow him through his life both in sports and as an adult and when he reaches an age where college scouts are looking for future players, this attribute will help him stand out among the other players.
Posted by: Eric Calhoun ( Email: ) at 2/10/2009 6:22 PM

I had the same situation occur a few times, I found that if your son works himself a little harder at practice. First the others will notice how hard he is working to better himself. I had my son do this. Then have him go over to the player thats not applying himself and quietly say "do you really want to be a winner, or you out here to goof off?" Then have your son wait for him to answer him. Then have him say "I came out here to win and I can only do it if you get into the game" are you going to help me?

I found this soft method works, I coach a High School rugby team and some of the toughest guys around and I found yelling and getting mad does not work, they got that from there football coaches, and just tune it out. Kid's will listen if you look them in the eyes and speak directly to them softly. And ask them to help the team. One on One works the best.
Posted by: Thomas Connor ( Email: | Visit ) at 2/10/2009 6:22 PM

Middle School age atheletes are at tough age. I think you can only encourage him to do his best and lead by example. Try and stay positive and not be frustrated. As he gets older and moves to higher levels of competition the serious level of his teammates improves. But in all reality, future success is very much a personal undertaking. Make people look up to you on the way rather that resent you.
Posted by: Ed P ( Email: ) at 2/10/2009 6:55 PM

I would suggest that you stay out of your son's way. It is his team and his sport. A person can inspire someone by setting a great example, however, the day to day effort required must come from within each individual.
Posted by: Kathy ( Email: ) at 2/10/2009 7:05 PM

You should encourage your son give 110% while playing to in effect lead by example. You also need to understand that not everyone is playing for the same reasons, have the same competitive desire that you or your son have remember these are 7th graders.
Posted by: Keith Karwacki ( Email: ) at 2/10/2009 7:07 PM

Leading by example can encourage some kids, but reality is that some kids have lousy parents who have never inspired their kids to do more than "participate" in life. Leaders are often alienated - Churchill, Reagan, & Bush come to mind. He will probably be running a business before his teammates are promoted to the cash register at McDonalds. Encourage him to push his teammates and leave nothing on the field/court. He might inspire a few kids to do more than "participate" and learn a bit about being a leader in the process.
Posted by: Rick ( Email: ) at 2/10/2009 7:56 PM

I believe the best way to motivate other players is to praise them when they work hard. If your son sees another player working hard, he should say so. If a player makes a great move or improves on a play, your son could recognize the improvement outloud. Positive commments from teammates boosts self esteem and builds bonding.

Point out the good stuff, help teammates shake off mistakes and pump each other up. Praise does not always have to come from the coaches.
Posted by: L Gerber ( Email: ) at 2/10/2009 7:58 PM

My son is quite a bit younger, but as the head coach I assigned some of the more talented and competitive kids to just one of the kids that are less motivated. I encouraged the high-performers by telling them that as a team, you're only as strong as the weakest player. In my experience with younger kids, they can make the biggest impact with having only one kid to motivate. It made a huge impact.
Posted by: Derek ( Email: ) at 2/10/2009 8:34 PM

Hey Phil,
Congrats on having a dedicated athlete in your family. However, if you really want your son to get the most out of his sporting experience suggest he put energy into comradery and friendship rather than putting vocal demands (especially angry ones!) on his teammates. That will be the quickest way to alienate himself. If he is really frustrated over the team not pulling to its potential, he might try befriending one of the team "slackers"-really being a teammate to them. There are many reasons why kids may not put forth their best effort in sports, but angry demands rarely work well for the long term.
Posted by: Ellen Abbene ( Email: ) at 2/10/2009 9:30 PM

Don't. Most coaches, even so-called professional ones, have no clue what might be impeding an individual, especially a young person from making progress.

The reality is that most all of us organize ourselves very poorly to accomplish reasonably simple tasks making them much more difficult to perform than they should be, sometimes impossible. Improving an individual's ability to learn what to do that might help them improve what they do poorly is not a job for amateurs.

I was helping out a coach of a group of 10 year old boys who were for the most part just starting out with the game. I noticed that one young man, I'll call him Sam, performed a number of skills reasonably well, and looked a bit like a ballplayer doing them, all except for catching a ball.

I took him aside after practice and threw him a pass. Sam never took his eyes off mine and missed a simple chest pass. I suggested that he try to follow the next pass with his eyes on the ball. Again he looked me dead in the eye. The next pass I had Sam make believe he was watching a ball come to him and look it into his hands. His head moved down almost violently after his hands had closed around the mythical ball.

Sam obviously had difficulty moving his head and of greater importance, moving his eyes independent of his head. Fortunately for both of us, I have completed 2 1/2 years of training in what for our purposes I will call a movement education modality called the Feldenkrais Method.

I recognized Sam's issue, and we did a few simple movements that freed Sam's neck so he could turn left and right and move his head up and down freely and move his eyes independent of his head.

There are many issues that all of us have with coordinating eye movements with performing certain tasks, with stiffness through the torso (ribs) that prevent easy movement of not only the arms but also the legs and the extremities at each end, that no amount of repeating the same drills will address.

There is also the often seen offenses of assuming that kids understand context and purpose behind certain skill sets when they don't, and also have no concept that their bodies comprise many simple machines. One might assume that a kid understands why it is important as a general rule to stay between his "man" and the basket. That is not always the case. Many kids unfamiliar with the game see better players breaking that rule all the time with no one saying booh to them, mostly praising them should they steal a pass or take the ball away from a weaker player, and so be literally lost as to the strategy of the game.

It helps enormously to explain to a young person what the intent of let's say interior defense is, to basically stay between your man and the basket to prevent easy shots (it will also help pointing out what is easiest), while exterior defenders might be needing to shift and guard areas to prevent pass or dribble penetration. There is a difference in understanding guarding the goal against easy shots and playing some seemingly mindless game of statute (mimic the offensive player).

Another problem that impedes progress is asking kids to multitask in ways that are completely unnecessary and overburden kids who have performance anxiety. A simple layup line can be traumatic in that the focus is so much on trying to recollect which foot to catch the ball on and how many steps to take and where to catch it that the kid makes a mess of dribbling to the basket to get to the spot that is the easiest on the court from which to score the ball. Everybody watching him, including the coach and the kid himself makes a judgment about the kid's abilities that is not only unfair but wrong, stupidly so.

Break the task into two. Tell the kids that they need to get to a spot, make it with a small cone, and come to a jump stop. Tell them if they get there they have penetrated the defense to the best sport possible on the court and have won a victory. Once there, tell them to "shoot the thing," maybe giving a pointer to the range of spots on the backboard that will work.

Before all you purest go off on squawking about how a layup is elemental, the reality is that many high school and college players end drives in precisely this fashion. Once a kid can prove to himself and his teammates that he can get to the basket with speed, force and under control (believe me, take away the layup and they all can, maybe with a little tweaking about dribbling to the side and a little explanation about how you cannot help but hit the floor so no need to watch the ball to closely, just maybe out of the bottom of your eyes), they will make the little finish shot. In a practice or two they will be making layups.

Many coaches have a far too detailed and often incorrect how to list with regard to any number of tasks, and muddle with the self exploration, play, that leads to long term learning. If you can't explain why from a physical perspective a particular aspect of the technique you are advocating contributes to the task at hand DO NOT INSIST that your players do it!

Study after study show that people learn to perform a movement by having a picture associated with a feel. If you are coaching but really are not adept at the sport you are coaching, there are looks of books with great pictures. Key pictures usually in basketball involve just before, during and after release, both of the hand, arm, body and feet, and in baseball/golf/tennis, where the handle of the stick is relative to the ball when it is to be struck. The feel, that is easy. The feel should be one of ease that produces dramatic results that are repeatable. With the picture and the sense of direction that the picture or series of pictures imply, and telling your kids to use their bodies as laborities, they will find what is easy and good.

That is, after all, the way we all learned to lift our heads, roll over and crawl. After that, we had coaches insinuate themselves. One need only observe people walking down the street and see what a mess non professionals make of the every day tasks we take for granted.

DO NOT ENCOURAGE YOUR KID TO PUSH HIS TEAMMATES TO IMPROVE THEIR SKILLS! IF YOU ARE EVEN CONSIDERING ASSIGNING YOUR SON SUCH A TASK, YOU SHOULDN'T UNDERTAKE IT EITHER.

Sports are games to be played, not taught, and through playing and having some basic concepts explained, playing and learning will go hand and hand.
Posted by: Rich Cohen ( Email: ) at 2/10/2009 10:21 PM

Phil,
Your son cannot demand that his teammates work harder...especially if he doesn't want to be alienated. The best thing your son can do is to lead by example by working hard himself all the time. He can try to motivate his teammates by cheering them on and pumping them up as well as giving them kudos when he sees they are working hard or improving. Just tell your son to continue to work his hardest, and his teammates should eventually catch on.

Sincerely,
Kelly Brady
Posted by: Kelly Brady ( Email: ) at 2/10/2009 10:59 PM

Kids encouraging teammates to perform well is natural. Kids demanding that teammates perform well is another matter. In my view, teammates, especially at younger ages, should most often positively encourage vs. demand performance from their peers. Even in competitive youth sports teams/leagues, kids should channel their energy and mental focus on themselves to ensure they play at their best. If anyone is to demand something the coach should be the one, other than the individual himself/herself, that "stimulates" the player to strive to their own best potential. There are very few perfect 7th graders who have earned the right or who have the credibility or interpersonal skills to demand anything of their teammates. No doubt that encouragement, positive expectations and positive reinforcement are appropriate amongst team members of any age or competitive level. But in the end, it is all about heart and attitude. If the individual isn't self-motivated to perform at his/her best there isn't much that anyone (including teammates)can do to ensure the individual consistently strives for his/her potential.

That said, understanding why the player isn't striving to do his/her best effort is a whole different matter and one where the coach and parents should take the lead, particularly at younger ages.
Posted by: Scott Barnum ( Email: ) at 2/10/2009 11:10 PM

Phil,

It's a very rare 7th grader that can assume the mantle of leadership on a team, and to be completely honest and straightforward with you... it's probably too much to expect of your son to take on that kind of role. Unless your son is a budding Alexander the Great or Julius Caesar, I wouldn't expect to see the kind of leadership you're expecting until much later.
There are a couple of reasons for this. First, at age 13, young men are still determining their self-image and place in the social order. There's a lot of confusion and conflict there. For some kids, it's a very scary proposition to get in front of everyone and vocalize, well, anything at all. Secondly, your son may not have been exposed to enough forms of leadership to determine an approach that works for him. Just as there are players who specialize in certain athletic skills, there are leaders who specialize in motivation, mechanics, faith-based leadership, etc. It could be he hasn't found his leadership voice yet. Until he does, he will be reluctant to use it. Kids at that age are terrified of failure and rejection, and to be rejected as a leader would ensure that he very likely won't try again.
So what should you do in this situation? In my opinion, there IS something you can do to develop his leadership skills, and that would be to simply start very small. Temper your expectations a bit. George Patton and Genghis Khan weren't built in a day... they started small, too. First, realize that young athletes really don't respond very well to an angry leadership style, especially if it comes from their own ranks. Secondly, you CAN train your son to look for opportunities to praise or congratulate his teammates on a job well done. Most young men are too concerned with themselves and competing with their teammates in the team heirarchy to actually realize when their fellow players have done something good. Draw your son's attention to those moments, and show him how to say something positive when that occurs.
The more comfortable he becomes as a positive element of the team, the more he will contribute to the team's leadership. It will come about naturally, and it won't be forced.
Finally, how many times have you seen a college team or an NFL team fail to live up to its expectations because of a lack of leadership? Look at the last football season: LSU underperformed due to a lack of leaders, particularly on defense... and the Dallas Cowboys, despite having the most talented roster in the league, didn't make the playoffs, and the reason why was mostly execution and leadership-related.
The point here is that you can have entire TEAMS of highly skilled and professional athletes, sometimes with rosters of 80 people or more... with either few or no real team leaders. Leadership is a rare skill that has to be cultivated.
Cultivate your son's skills, starting with VERY small goals, and let's see what happens. Whatever you do, though, don't expect him to be the team leader. It might not be in his nature, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Best of luck to you!
Posted by: Scott Madere ( Email: | Visit ) at 2/11/2009 5:33 AM

At the 7th grade level, I think taking a leadership role on a team should be limited to setting a good example and encouraging what he sees as hard work. Any more than that will likely bring resentment from the other players. Most soccer and basketball practices bring the opportunity for competition, whether it be 1 v 1, 2 v 2, sprints, shooting, scrimmages etc. I would encourage your son to take it hard to the other players in these situations and try to pair himself up with others who are willing to work hard and bang heads a little, hopefully brining out the compeititve spirit in the others. Of course, there are probably some on the team that just won't get it and that comes with the territory. I would also speak to the coach and mention your son's perceptions and get his/her feedback. As a coach I have had a few kids try to take an aggressive role as leader and more often than not it generates resentment. It can work if it is coming from a superior player because the other players beginn to wonder if the superior play is from natural talent or from hard work. It is probably from both!
Posted by: Charlie ( Email: ) at 2/11/2009 5:59 AM

Phil,

I coach youth lacrosse, and have coached at both the youth and high school levels. It is tough to put the pressure just on your son alone, I know because I have tried that with my son as well. What I have been able to do successfully, is to build a team environment, where all of the kids are allowed and encouraged to hold each other responsible for their attitude, and effort - NOT performance. I tell them it is all about these two things, and that performance will come. I try to pull some of the boys that I know my son and other players look up to, off to the side either during or after practices, and tell them that I need them to help me lead the team. These players typically rise to the challenge, and become the conscience of the team.

It is amazing how you will see the growth of these kids as leaders, and the attitude change of the rest of the players.

Good Luck!

Kevin
Posted by: Kevin Greene ( Email: | Visit ) at 2/11/2009 6:40 AM

Phil, angrily, if necessary should never be an option (especially as 7th graders). I would recommend that your son should always lead by example and never take a drill, practice or play off. Secondly, postively speaking/influencing to the kids as they practice drils and games. Always be POSITIVE in what he says to the teammates.
Posted by: Frank FLores ( Email: ) at 2/11/2009 6:40 AM

First of all, why would you teach your son to angrily and vocally demand anything from anyone? What is that teaching your son that when things aren't going his way he has the right to yell and berate others? That is not the way to go. He should be encouraging others. Perhaps he can sit back and assess where some of the players are needing to improve and then see if there is a way he improved himself in the same situation. Maybe there is someone who can't make free throws. How did you son accomplish that? Did he make free throw after free throw shots after practice? Did he go to a local gym. Is there a different way he held his hands, stood on the line, etc? Find ways he can help the players not put them down. Then ask the individual player if he can help. "Hey, dude! I noticed you are having some troubles with your free throws, can we work together on that, I can give you some suggestions that helped me and maybe that will help you too." This will be received more effectively and not cause the other player to shut down and shut out your son's suggestions and will also help the coach and the team towards their goal. This may also help the coach to recognize the maturity of your son and this will garner praise from the coach as well, if your son is not captain perhaps that will be something in his future. A captain is not one who puts down his teammates and screams for their compliance, a captain supports his teammates in all situations and encourages them to do their best, to put their best foot forward. Yelling and screaming may make a player comply, but only to get you to shut up, the resentment becomes deep seated and eventually rebellion will occur.
Posted by: Kelly Lehman ( Email: | Visit ) at 2/11/2009 6:42 AM

As a coach, when I want to get a player to improve on a specific skill, I have found that demanding vocally, even angrily gets the opposite response. Duh! This is the Positive Coaching web site!

If you want your son to take a leadership role on his team, then he leads by example and encouragement. He could also just ask the player why he is not trying. Whatever he does in this role, he will set himself apart, just as those who do not strive for improvement set themselves apart.
Posted by: Pamela ( Email: ) at 2/11/2009 7:18 AM

One of the great quotes about a player's obligation comes from Tracey Bates Leone, a member of the U.S. Women's National Soccer Teean that won the first Women's World Cup in 1991:

"You owe it to yourself and your teammates to do everything you can and give everything you have toward your goal of Being the Best."

Your son needs to control what he can control: his effort and example. He can also find ways to spotlight teammates who make that same effort: "Thanks for playing so hard. It makes me better." Keep the focus on those who do, rather than on those who don't do.

It only takes a few athletes like this on a team to infect the others.

Heck, maybe even the coaches will figure it out. (Where are they in all this?)
Posted by: Bill Dooley ( Email: | Visit ) at 2/11/2009 8:49 AM

First of all, your son cannot respond angrily to other team-mates...this is a definite NO, NO! Anyhow, he could say motivational enocouraging words like come-one guys let's show them who the champions are! Primarily it is the coaches job to address such areas of concern like this. Coaches are all different. Most likely less than 25% of all who coach should be doing it. At your son's age its not that big of a deal...but the older they get the more the coach matters. Look for a team who has a Coach who really knows what he is doing. A coach can make or break a team. It is his/her job to make the players the best they can be, in a positive motivational, dedicated, hard-working ethical manner. Negativism usually never works for anyone. After 16 plus years of experience with coaches and my son playing next year on the NCAA Division 1 level of college basketball, I think its fair to say I just might know what I am talking about. So be kind, teach your son to respect and be kind to his team-mates and UNITY is one of the greatest necessary foreces for a team to win! Be kind to the Coach too!
Posted by: Carole Lewis ( Email: ) at 2/11/2009 8:50 AM

I recently addressed this issue with a 9th grade daughter when her club team coach challenged her to assume a leadership role. This is difficult for some personality types, and her comment to the coach was that she did not want to appear "bossy" to her peers. This reputation can have social consequences sometimes.

The coach, who is very experienced, said the following:
1) You have earned the right through your hard training to encourage your teammates. They look up to you as a leader even if you do not assume that role.
2) There are some players who are struggling and could benefit greatly from some tips and encouragement, and it would mean a lot coming from a respected player sometimes rather than the coach.
3) The way to do it is not to tell them what to do but to say postive things like, "We'll be able to score on this play if you can use your left foot. If you work on that at home you will be able to do it next time. Here is what I do to work on my left foot skills at home."
4) If it's an effort issue there probably is more of a group cheerleading role that the leader can fill in the huddle. But again a positive approach can hit the mark: "If we want to score in transition we all need to run a lot harder out there!"

Ultimately though, players who try to assume leadership roles must demonstrate that they have earned the right via their own effort. There is little credibility when a less committed player tries to do this. The worst is when a less skilled player tells another what to do and gets it wrong.

This positive approach seems to have the least risk of social implications. However, this is a touchy subject -- and a skill -- that each child needs to try, and learn, in life if they find an opportunity to be in a leadership role.

Good luck!
Posted by: john ( Email: ) at 2/11/2009 9:08 AM

Phil,
I coach a 7th/8th grade basketball team and my sons ask the same questions about a few of the players on the team. I told them each boy might respond to different approaches and that they know these boys better then I do, and should think about what approach would be best. They said they heard one of the boys say they didn't care to much about winning and playing hard. There just here to have fun and participate. I told my sons in life you will find people like this they want to be part of the fun, but may not contribute or add value to the activity/job, party, there is probably nothing you can do about it. You can let your son know that as he gets older and the competition is at a higher level this problem will take care of itself.
Posted by: Steve ( Email: ) at 2/11/2009 9:36 AM

Phil,

From a parent's perspective, I understand your desire to have your son support or assume a leadership role on the team, but as was said numerous times above, I've only seen it create a sense of alienation and division amongst teams. Stratifying "A" and "B" players through a seventh grader's words (based on HIS interpretation of others' effort) is beyond his role as a player.

From a coach's perspective, I appreciate nothing more than to have a healthy conversation with a supportive parent (which you seem to be) about how we might work together to utilize their child's strengths, for the betterment of the whole team. If coaching is about teaching life lessons through the language of sports, what better way than to collaborate so all parties (the team, your son/family, the coaches) win. Some of the strategies and advice from above may be perfect for your situation and others may not. My only caution with that is as you offer open dialogue from your perspective, you ultimately let the coach be the coach.

To keep myself in check, I try to keep this in mind for how I treat my own daughters or players (if I'm coaching), especially at games. If I were in a grown-up setting (ie delivering a board room presentation), would I want a co-worker (teammate) or boss (coach) yelling at me from across the room (field/court) to run my Powerpoint faster or move around the room better, or focus my eyes more at a particular customer or speak louder... or worst of all, give a huge groan/sigh if I missed a particular point (goal)? On the other hand, how do I perform when they encourage me and let me do what I'm trained (coached) to do?

I know it's not a perfect analogy to youth sports, but it helps me to think how they may view their team /sporting experience, based on my daily life experience.

I hope that helps and I wish you all the best in your sporting endeavors!

Mark W
Danville, Ca
Posted by: Mark W ( Email: ) at 2/11/2009 11:08 AM

Phil,

How did you feel the last time a coworker or teammate yelled at you to work harder? And you're not an impressionable young teen. At seventh grade level (despite "playing very competitive soccer for years," it isn't a player's place to place demands on his teammate. It's the coach's job to find ways to motivate each player in their own way. Even with more than 30 years of coaching experience, I avoided discussing with my children things they could be doing, and urged them to approach their coaches. Part of maturing as a player is learning to sort out team dynamics for themselves.
Posted by: Jim Paglia ( Email: ) at 2/11/2009 1:33 PM

Phil,

I have been a coach on all different levels of football for many years. I find that the best way to motivate players is to lead by example. One should not be to preachy when trying to motivate. Good old fashioned hard work pays off.

For free coaching ideas and videos please visit my website at www.footballdoneright.com. Please feel free to contact me at any time.

Good luck,

Coach Stern
Posted by: Matt Stern ( Email: | Visit ) at 2/11/2009 11:01 PM

I'm leaving this comment on my blog, called Your Kid's Not Going Pro, as well, just so you know.

Well, Phil, it's interesting that you bring this up. My brother-in-law and I are coaching a basketball team of seventh- and eighth-graders (and my son, a sixth-grader), and as coaches we're wrestling with the same problem. As a team, we have a problem with every kid going all-out every practice and every game. In fact, after winning our first game, we've lost every one since as a direct result of a lack of team hustle. As coaches we take responsibility as well because we are charged with putting our team in the best position to win, and better yet creating an environment in which everyone is relaxed and having fun so they can feel comfortable going all-out and unafraid to make mistakes. Unfortunately, when you're losing, that goal becomes harder to reach.

Phil, let me ask you this first: is your son unequivocally recognized by his teammates as the best player? Or at least a major contributor to the team's success? Otherwise, there's no hope. In my experience, other players will take praise and criticism more seriously from the best player than they will someone who is not.

Also, what are the personalities on the team? I encouraged our best player, who does hustle all-out, to feel free to praise and criticize on the court, to position players, and to otherwise lead by example. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be working, though such a strategy has worked for me as a coach before. Particularly at the junior-high level (and I don't have to tell you this, having a son in junior high), kids at that age are far more likely to blow off you and peers.

A kid who is not predisposed to hustling, who does not see it his duty to play well for his teammates' sake, and who does not see the connection in how being lazy in practice means poor results in games -- you're just going to have a hard time getting through. No matter what your son says, a player like that isn't going to respond. In fact, that player will probably go into a shell.

And to back it up even further, Phil, it's not your job as a parent to get your son to help him to demand vocally (and even angrily) that his teammates step it up. I don't know your son's personality, but some kids are just not comfortable with doing that. You can't make your kid into something he's not.

I understand your frustration, and your son's, at being stuck on a team where it appears everyone is not interested in trying their best. I know it's driving me crazy with my team right now, and I'm having to take a good, hard look at how I'm coaching to make sure I don't make a tough situation worse. I recommend, Phil, that you and your son suck it up, that he focus on improving his game and being the best teammate he can be (no matter what everyone else does -- perhaps the more he shows he trusts them, the more they might respond, maybe), and that you and he realize that soon enough he will be on another team that might not have the problems this one has.

Oh, and Phil, don't complain to the coach about it, either, if you were thinking of that. The coach knows. Trust me on this one.
Posted by: Bob Cook ( Email: | Visit ) at 2/22/2009 8:07 PM

Phil certainly struck a chord with his question. Youth Sports Nation responded vehemently and intelligently. Your comments covered nearly the entire spectrum ranging from "positive reinforcement only" to "hardcore competitive."

PCA comes down in favor of not encouraging any youth or high school athlete to "demand vocally (even angrily, if necessary)" anything from their teammates. We know it happens. People are emotional, and sport heightens that emotion. Plus, the physical and mental fatigue that afflicts a hard-working athlete is bound to manifest vocally (even angrily) when others are not working as hard.

However, these displays of anger rarely have the desired effect, especially if they are pre-meditated. In fact, they almost cannot help but alienate others, and often are so deflating ("tank-draining" in PCA's vocabulary) that those receiving the anger are even less driven to work toward excellence.

Hard work and leading by example? Yes. Vocally, even loudly, encouraging teammates? Yes. Assuming such a leadership role where your son's own efforts and standing among his teammates warrants? Absolutely.

Having a sense of possibility and self-confidence is crucial to making great efforts, especially under pressure-packed circumstances. Helping teammates see that "we can come back and get in this game" (or compete for the title, turn this season around, etc.) will do more for building their ability to work hard for the team than any verbal chastising. And it builds the relationship between players, which always is a good thing, where the verbal blasting can tear down relationships.

Anything intentionally angry will be counterproductive and potentially very damaging to the team.
-- David Jacobson, PCA Marketing Communications Manager
Posted by: David Jacobson ( Email: | Visit ) at 3/2/2009 10:41 PM

Team sports rely on teammates being able to trust each other. There needs to be someone that can take charge and lead by example. Coaches and parents can only instruct and teach. The players have to execute and if you have that player that is willing to be a vocal leader that the rest of the team respects is when you will get results.
Posted by: Joe ( Email: ) at 3/4/2009 12:53 PM