Youth Sports Spotlight

Mayhem in Massachusetts Between Youth Football Coach, Dad (10/20/09)

The latest black eye for youth sports includes a black eye for a youth football dad outside Boston -- allegedly at the hand of his son's coach. Click here to see WBZ-TV's coverage, which includes links back to PCA's "Free Tips and Tools" for coaches and parents. Too bad the dad and coach in question didn't read and heed our tips!

Click on the Comments link below to share your thoughts.

Posted by David Jacobson at 10/20/2009 05:02:36 PM |

Like other endeavors in life, youth-league coaching requires a measure of good ol' common sense. Coaching clinics may not teach adults common sense, but life does. News reports indicated that the father brought his boy to practice ten minutes late. Didn't this coach realize that 12-year-olds do not have drivers licenses and must rely on their parents to get them to practice on time?

I am about 1400 miles away, but I doubt that the coach did himself or the team any good with this exercise in petty discipline. Indeed, he almost certainly hurt his cause, even if we remove the fisticuffs from the picture. Now the boy is probably angry at his father, the father is probably angry at the boy, and both are angry at the coach. The other parents probably realize that their child could easily have been on the receiving end of the coach's punishment.

Most important, the coach has probably diminished himself in the eyes of the rest of the youngsters. How long did it likely take for the team's other 12-year-olds to figure out that punishing a player because his father drove him to practice ten minutes late is unfair to the player?

Parents these days have many demands on their time (including uncontrollable events such as traffic jams), and coaches need to use a rule of reason and cut parents some slack in matters such as on-time performance.

Doug Abrams
Posted by: Doug Abrams ( Email: ) at 10/21/2009 6:29 AM

Pop Warner, in many places is very far removed from being a YOUTH_CENTERED sports league. My own son begged me to allow him to quit this year after three games. I normally discourage this, but being on this particular team was making him miserable.This is a 10/11 year old league and like the experience above, the treatment of these children mirrors more what these coaches see on TV, than any attempt at age appropiate game and practice play. While they make a point that all kids get eight plays minimum, that too often becomes the maximum. My son sat on the sidelines for a week at practice because we went on a family vacation. Supposedly so that he could practice and work up to putting on the equiptment to scrimmage. He sat on the sildelines for 2 and one half hours for four days without ever "conditioning for scrimmage".I believe that he/we were being punished for the temerity of a family vacation.In three games, the only time he touched a football was the one he went to sleep with.
It is long passed the time that youth sports, whether travel or rec, are administered as if our children mattered more than the outcome of the games, and more than the aspirations and goals of the adults in charge.
Posted by: Frank Mc mahon ( Email: ) at 10/22/2009 10:42 AM

I am a Little League Coach. I deal with parents ALL the time. Not all parents are as dedicated as others. Some see it as after school care. Some want us to be childcare providers.

Any coach that would berate or say ANYTHING derogatory in front of kids needs to step back and re evaluate their role. I NEVER discuss ANYTHING with parents during games or practice. I always attempt to table any discussion till after. And then in private. Any coach that would punish a player for something like being late should do the same.

Being late once to practice or a game is entirely understandable. I always stress to my players the importance of being on time and ready to play or practice meaning dressed, cleats on, have glove and hat etc... I certainly tell them it is VERY important to be on time, if you present to them at their level, they will sometimes even be able to sway their parents into getting with the program...
Posted by: Jeff Francis ( Email: ) at 10/22/2009 4:27 PM

I have been in the situation as both a coach and a parent. As a coach the rule is: if the parent tells me that the kid is late due to the kidstardiness, then a punishment will be enforced.
But I also have to understand that the families have to come home from work, eat and maybe get up to three kids to an event. We need to cut some slack and to work with parents and kids to make the whole minor sports experience positive.
As a parent my son was late for practice because I went to the rong field, my poor son was very upset because he'd have to do laps. I wnt to theoach and said 'no laps' he's late because of me. After a bitof argument, my son did not do laps and thecoach learned a lesson.
We have to remember we are there for the benefits of thekids learning a sport and life lessons. Are relationships more important than the rles?
Posted by: Brian Carnduff ( Email: ) at 10/30/2009 12:02 PM

When coaching my daughter's soccer team, I normally would not single out an individual that was tardy, because it was too much distraction from my coaching lesson plan. A coupl eof years ago, I found myself at practice with 3 of 12 girls for the first ten minutes of each practice. The result was the nine late comers ran an extra lap. One of those nine was 5 minutes later than the rest. She too had to run the extra lap. I was berated by the mother who thought I was singling her out. The daughter was embarrassed by her mother's behavior and appologized to me during practice. The mother said that her daughter should not be punished for her inability to get her to practice on time. I pointed out that all the other girls had ran, and that in most cases it was not th eparents fault that they were late. It was likley if thier home was anything like mine, that the daughter was late due to thier own lolly gagging, or misplaced equipment (where is my other shin guard?). The motheer aknowledged that this may have been the case in their home. I followed uo with a note to the teams' parents letting them know that I thought it was partially the daughters responsibility to get to practice on time. I had leave work early and arrived earlier than they did to set up. It was matter of respect for my time and the teams' time that they make the effort to be ready so their parents could get them there on time. Many parent told me that I was dead on. I solved my problem and there was never anymore mass tardiness.

The girl who's mother had berated me was never late again.

The mass tardiness ended.
Posted by: John ( Email: ) at 11/13/2009 9:36 AM

OK, Boy, this article and the blogs that followed it, incidentally bring up one of my "pet peeves". I have coached teenagers in baseball for over a two decades -- with some championship teams, and some very succesful young men in the "real world", after sports. Why do sports coaches, or Gym Teachers, and others similarly situated, use "running" as a punishment. As a former all-state caliber trackster-distance runner and road racer (who happened to stumble onto my ability to run long distances while running laps in baseball practice), the use of running as a punishment, makes my "blood boil". Would you as baseball coach/parent say, here is a tee, ball and bat -- go outside and hit 300 balls off of the tee -- as punishment for not taking out the garbage."??? Or, would a B'ball coach-parent say, "here is a basketball, go shoot 1000 foul shots and dribble up and down the court 50 times as punishment for being late coming home."??? Well, if you did this frequently, I bet the child would grow to disdain baseball or basketball. So, do we want our kids to hate running? Is that our goal? Likewise, the use of any punishment -- e.g. push ups, sit ups, etc. Your players are here to play sports and exercise, They love physical activity, so why would you use exercise as a punishment? They want to play -- therein lies a suggested punishment -- less play time. OH, but if he is a good player and you bench him as punishment, that might mean you would WIN less -- which is the most important thing -- right??? Hopefully not. I usually have the child that arrives late, stay late after practice and help ME clean up my equipment, pack the cather's equipment, or rake some of the field with ME -- and if his parent protests, I invite him to join us. Oftentimes I agree to bring the child home. And, while the child is helping me take my equipment to the car, I get a chance to talk to him about why he is late, or anything else a teenager might want to talk about. I constantly look for little things they can do in this nature. I constantly try to change the "punishment" to surprise them, so they do not want to dare find out what I will come up with next. Needless to say, the players not being punished really enjoy it. On the other hand, even though I am coaching baseball, I try to come up with fun competitions around running, to see who is fastest or quickest, and who can improve the most. Needless to say, our teams love to win games by bunting, stealing bases and playing "small ball". Nothing is more fun than a succesful squeeze play. So, I urge parents/coaches to endeavor NOT to use exercise as punishment. By the way, My 15 yr old wants to be at practice a half hour early, to warm up and get his equipment out, and he makes our life miserable if we do not oblige, at least in part, and he is never late for practice.
Posted by: Coach Michael ( Email: ) at 11/25/2009 10:33 PM