To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
]]>To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
]]>To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
PCA Response by Eric Eisendrath, Lead Trainer-New York
There is no question in my mind that you did the right thing. I applaud your courage to follow through, when frankly, it would probably have been easier to have chosen a different course.
At PCA, we believe that teaching life lessons through sports is the number one responsibility of a coach. Clearly, you were making that choice when you elected to bench your son. You have helped him to grasp the importance of respecting others (teachers, coaches, and teammates alike) and to recognize that there are repercussions to any action.
The parents' reaction is troubling, as they seem to miss the long-term benefit -- for your son and theirs -- of a coach who puts life lessons first. When speaking to parents at PCA workshops, I encourage them to look at the "big picture" versus the "little picture" associated with youth sports. Being 7-0 instead of 6-1 in middle-school basketball is an extremely "little picture" concern. However, teaching your son (and theirs) respect and accountability is an invaluable life lesson that will serve well beyond this basketball season!
If parents continue to question your decision, use this as an opportunity to communicate Double-Goal values to them. Use "narrated modeling," a PCA tool, to tell them why you did what you did. Send them an e-mail explaining the Big Picture-Little Picture as you saw it with your son's behavior.
Encourage them to seek you out to talk with you about it. You've got their attention now so use the opportunity to dialog with them. Empathizing with them can help ("I know it is hard to lose a game. Believe me, I wanted to win that game, too, but I want my son to grow up to understand responsibility more. Do you understand why I think that is more important than winning a game?").
But whatever you do, stand your ground. In our Double-Goal Coach workshop we state, "It takes moral courage to uphold a positive culture." Your stance is a great example of that credo!
]]>
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
]]>To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
PCA Response by Eric Eisendrath, Lead Trainer-New York
Your first step should be to look for an opening to talk privately with the head coach about the need to reinforce all the players. That conversation will not be easy, but if done in a positive, respectful way, it could help the head coach see his negative impact on all his players and, hopefully, change.
Also, as an assistant coach, even a self-professed "newbie," you still have a voice. I hope for your players' sakes, and for the sake of your own development as a coach, that you use that voice to praise other players.
At some point, you will want to assert yourself so that you are contributing all you can to your team and so that you prevent escalation of the dissension within your team. More positive voices in more players' ears, regardless of the level of your sport expertise, will have positive effects.
The PCA principle of Filling Emotional Tanks, striving for the "Magic Ratio" of five specific, truthful praises to every one specific, constructive criticism, will improve your players' performance. Improved performance alone will give you more credence as a coach, again regardless of how your length of service compares with the head coach.
Even as a "newbie" you can credibly deliver such praise as "Did you see the great job by Jimmy scooping up that ground ball? Wow, he has made so much progress this season. He's really working hard!"
Your praise of other players also may single-handedly defuse the dissension you describe. It may not take much to stop the players' barbs. Your players will notice the difference in tone around the team, and they will appreciate your effort, attach to you and be more open to corrections from you and the head coach. The head coach also may begin to notice and praise the other players' efforts, especially when he sees your praise contribute to improved performance.
As a parent, I hope you work hard to help your son process his emotions around this situation. While his frustration is understandable, you can help him see value in his own performance, without the need for praise from this coach. Make it clear that you love and support him, and recognize his efforts on the field. Encourage him to take pride in his own achievements, regardless of whether or not he earns the head coach's praise.
]]>
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
PCA Response by Jim Thompson, PCA Executive Director
From the beginning, PCA has been about "unfreezing" coaches and refreezing them in new, better coaching behaviors. We discovered that training coaches wasn't enough. We quickly moved to a "systems approach" to work with leaders, coaches, parents and athletes so that the entire system reinforces the behaviors we'd like to see.
Let's consider four kinds of youth coaches.
1) Members of this group embrace PCA methods and tools and quickly integrate them into the way they coach because Double-Goal Coaching is already part of their identity even if they didn't have the specific vocabulary down.
2) The majority of coaches are well-meaning people who haven't developed a robust coaching philosophy and thus are susceptible to the pressures of a win-at-all-cost culture. They are inconsistent in their coaching and sometimes step over a line that they later regret (even if they publicly justify it when criticized).
The good news about this group is that they are also susceptible to a positive coaching culture in the organizations in which they coach. And because PCA tools are research-based and reflect best practices of great coaches, when coaches use them, they work. And they then tend to use them even more, which creates a virtuous circle.
3) Some individuals initially resist change. Because all coaches depend on having an organization in which to coach, many of these resisters will come around if the signals from their organization are consistent. Many famous successful coaches started out as screamers but learned a better way and transformed themselves.
4) People in this category shouldn't be allowed to coach kids. The best training in the world won't change them and the harsh truth is that these folks need to be removed from coaching kids.
Whether the abusive coaches described above fall into category 3 or 4 needs to be determined. While an organization must remove any Category 4 coaches, a Category 3 coach may be improved through the tenets of Social Learning Theory.
Social Learning Theory says that people learn how to behave in groups by watching what others do and seeing what happens. So standing quietly by as a coach abuses or bullies players is not going to get us to the youth sports culture we all want.
I caution anyone reading this that I do NOT recommend taking action that might escalate into a conflict. Here are some things observers of abusive coaching can do:
1) Register your discomfort with the coach's behavior. This is best done in private. You can simply say as calmly as you can something like, "That is not the kind of coaching that is going to get the best from your players." Or you can politely ask the coach how his behavior aligns with PCA tenets. "Is yelling at your players consistent with being a Double-Goal Coach?" How and whether you have this kind of conversation with a coach depends on many things, including whether you know the person personally. And I emphasize that you should not do this if it runs the risk of escalating the situation.
2) If talking to the coach does not help, let him or her know you plan to take this up one level and talk to his or her supervisor. When you talk to the coach's supervisor, whether that is the school athletic director or principal or chairman of the YSO board, say what you saw and ask if that is the kind of coaching behavior the school or organization desires. I have found from past experience that often the supervisor is not aware of the bad behavior. In other cases, the supervisor would prefer to ignore it and hope it doesn't cause a problem. You raising the issue makes it harder to ignore. Even if it doesn't result in immediate action, over time it may lead to change, especially if the supervisor hears from others similarly concerned.
3) Ask the organization to implement a feedback process to give players and parents a chance to comment on coaches' behavior. PCA has collaborated with Liberty Mutual on the Responsible Sports Season Evaluation tool that makes it easy for any school or YSO to implement an evaluation process.
We have recently begun to use the phrase "Live it. Teach it." It is not enough for a coach, parent or athlete to just live out PCA ideals. If we are to change the culture of youth sports, each of us who believes in the power of sports to create Major League People needs to let others know about our commitment to PCA principles and hold each other accountable. So, live it, yes! And teach it.
]]>
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
PCA Response by Jim Thompson, PCA Executive Director
As a lone parent who recognizes the value of the situation your child is in, you have to be thoughtful about how to try to make the situation better. Here are some thoughts.
1) Continue to reinforce your daughter's effort and notice her improvement. Don't let others' "Eeyore reactions" color yours.
2) Reinforce the coach for his Double-Goal Coaching. Tell him you appreciate his positive approach and let him know your daughter is having a good experience.
3) Give him a copy of PCA's Script and Talking Points for the ELM Tree of Mastery -- E for effort, L for learning and M for bouncing back from mistakes. Download it here. Tell him, "I think you'll really like this material from Positive Coaching Alliance because it is in line with your coaching style."
4) Seed your conversations with other parents with comments like: "I really like Positive Coaching Alliance's focus on the ELM Tree of Mastery. E for effort, L for learning and M for bouncing back from mistakes. You know the research shows that focusing on mastery rather than the scoreboard produces more wins in the long run." Distribute copies of the ELM Script & Talking Points to them as well.
5) Stand up for the coach with other parents. "I know it's hard to lose so many games, but I really appreciate Coach's positive approach. I want my daughter to love soccer and want to play again next year. I think we're lucky to have him for our girls."
6) Cheer other kids on your team for their effort. This is good for them and it will endear you to other parents. To a parent, no one is as smart as the person who recognizes their child's good points!
I recommend that anyone interested in this issue read through the blog responses. PCA is truly graced by having so many passionate, thoughtful people involved in our movement.
]]>
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
"I have not challenged this perspective because I have not understood what is fundamentally wrong with this mantra until recently. I want to offer solutions along with the critical comments I have begun to make to my fellow coaches. Please help me!"
-- Anonymous in Healdsburg
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
Your son plays for an elite soccer team. The coach wants him to quit other sports, including his high school soccer team, to play exclusively with the club team. What should you do?
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
To answer, click on the Comments link below.
To Ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
]]>To answer this question, click on the Comments link below.
To ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
"I'm trying very hard not to be 'that parent', being that I was a very intense, competitive athlete back in my day. I want my kids to play because they like to play,
not because I pushed them into it. What is the balance?"
-- Pete Carlson
To answer this question, click on the Comments link below.
To ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
"It seems some parents are trying to commandeer an entire team, and we are unsure how to handle the situation. This year, in our 5th & 6th grade program, a couple of parents were so upset at their girls not being put together that they pulled them from the program.
I would be interested to learn how other youth organizations have handled similar situations."
--Terry Dzelzgalvis, coach, Lower Bucks (PA) Lacrosse
To answer this question, click on the Comments link below.
To ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
]]>This is my first year as a head coach, and I have loved (almost) every minute of it. While I tried hard to make this a positive experience for all the kids and to help them improve, I know I could do better. How should I go about getting feedback from my assistant coaches, players, and parents on their experiences, as well as my performance? Should it be anonymous? Should my organization have a process for obtaining feedback for all of the coaches?
-- Michael Cross, Pittsford, NY
To answer this question, click on the Comments link below.
To ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
]]>Do we 'over-coach' our players? I have two sons, 13 and 16, who participate in a variety of sports. In baseball, for example, I notice coaches calling all the pitches. It is also prevalent in lacrosse and basketball as plays and advice are yelled in from the sidelines.
Is the result a more mechanical, thoughtless player? Does the game have less flow? My oldest recently participated in a track meet, where coaches aren't allowed on the field and yelling instructions from the stands is discouraged. My son explained after his event that several athletes were unable to 'self-correct' their mechanics. I wonder how many youth athletes have ever been that isolated from their coaches. Are the coaches to blame?
-- Mike, Marin County, CA
To answer this question, click on the Comments link below.
To ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
]]>"The past two games, my son has played two innings and didn't come to bat for the whole game. In the past, he always played 2nd base and has hit lead off. This year, the coach yells at my son, and when my son does make a play, the coach says nothing but 'Get to the bench.' I and others don't understand. We have yet to win a game. I'm thinking of withdrawing my son. First, I'd like to know if I am overreacting."
-- Scott Miller, Fairfield, OH
To share your advice for this parent, leave your Comment below.
To ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
]]>Only 1 child on the team (not one of the coaches' children) consistently hits the ball. I hear some encouragement from the coaches but they are frustrated and I'm hearing a lot of comments from the coaches like: come on be a hitter, you've got to swing at that, swing the bat, be aggressive, etc.
I have tried talking to my husband, the head coach. He doesn't seem to be able to change his approach.
Do you have any suggestions? These kids aren't having fun and I fear they will lose their love for the game. Help!!
-- Janet
To share your advice for this parent, leave your Comment below.
To ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
Is there a script for kind and positive ways to talk with a player who has to be cut from a team?
-- Betsy, Houston, TX
To share your advice, leave your Comment below.
]]>This seems perhaps a bit too much. For example, an upcoming week looks as follows: Monday 6-7:30pm practice; Tuesday 6-7:30pm practice; Wed. - away game, 1 hour travel to get to game, one hour game, one hour travel home; Thurs. home game.
To share your advice for this parent, leave your Comment below.
To ask PCA a question, e-mail AskPCA@positivecoach.org.
My daughter goes to a very competitive public high school with a winning tradition. However, some of the coaches with the best winning traditions are also some of the worst coaches when it comes to how they treat the kids. These coaches are allowed to scream and yell at our children with no consequences.
Our kids are put down amongst their peers and even cursed at in public. Yet the teams win and nothing is done. A few years ago our school implemented a Code of Conduct for all athletes and parents to sign. The Code is not strictly enforced, even though athletes and parents must sign a new one for each new season or sport.
What kind of Code of Conduct should the coaches be held accountable to? When the Code is broken by a coach, how should it be dealt with? Our coaches are also teachers in the school and they are part of the union, which makes it difficult for parents to question a coach’s tactics and behavior because of the fear of retribution not only to the athlete (playing time, etc.) but also to the student and their grades. I cannot sit on the sidelines any more and something must be done. I need your help!
To share your advice for this parent, leave your Comment below.
]]>
To share your answers, click on the Comments link below.
]]>Which of our Top 10 or Bottom 10 Moments provide the best opportunity for a conversation with your child? Why?
Using any of our Top 10 or Bottom 10 Moments as an example, what do you say to your child?
Do you want your child’s coach to discuss such incidents with your child? Why or why not?
To share your answers, click on the Comments link below.
]]>
Download and print this case study
Response by PCA Founder Jim Thompson
Playing time is probably the biggest source of frustration and anger among sports parents, which is saying a lot.
An Unarguable Point
Kids love to play. They don’t like to sit on the bench. Moreover, most of the benefits of playing a sport are tied to competing in games. Kids who sit don’t benefit as much from sports as kids who play. I don’t see how anyone can argue with this.
Good Coaches Get Kids into Games
It is a tenet of good coaching that you get kids into games! Period. Whether there are any external rules for minimum playing time or not. Whether it is at the high school or highly competitive travel team level or not.
Good coaches get kids into games! They may be creative about how they get kids into games in high-stakes situations, because Double-Goal Coaches do want to win. But good coaches—Double-Goal Coaches—get kids into games! Have I made myself clear?
The Mad Dogs
One of the most creative ideas for getting kids into games came from a high school basketball coach in Ohio who attended a seminar I did many years ago. He took his bottom 8 – 12 players and termed them the “Mad Dogs.” The Mad Dogs knew they would play the last minute of the first quarter and the first minute of the second quarter in EVERY game, whether pre-season or the state title game. This accomplished a number of things:
• Unlike typical bench players, the Mad Dogs worked extremely hard in practice because they wanted to be ready for their moment. This pushed the starters to play harder which benefited the team on the scoreboard.
• They played all out during their two minutes. They were all over the court and had no hesitation about being highly aggressive. Over time, the coach told me, they actually became a competitive advantage to the team, with the team being in a better competitive position after the Mad Dogs exited the game than before they entered.
• Some of the Mad Dogs became starters. The self-confidence they developed helped them develop a sense of possibility of themselves as starters! And when an individual latches onto a sense of possibility, watch out!
The Utility of Blowout Games
Good coaches use blowout games to get kids into games, but they do so BEFORE the game becomes a blowout. Good coaches recognize a mismatch coming up and start kids who normally don’t start. If that puts their team in a competitive disadvantage, so much the better for the starters to come into the game behind, having to work hard to catch up. If the blowout is a blowout even with the subs starting, at least the subs know they played when the game was still at stake.
Coaching for Effort
A word about the primacy of effort: If there were only one life lesson from sports it should be that hard work is a key to success. I once coined the “equation,” S=E/T, Success comes from Effort over Time, and drilled it into my players every day. We might not win today, but if we give it our best effort, sooner or later, we’ll be successful.
Good coaches in high-stakes situations should reward effort as much as talent. They tell kids that effort will be rewarded and then they reward high-effort players with playing time, independent of ability. The message to a team when a weaker player who gives it her all gets into games on a regular basis is impossible to overstate.
Weaker players realize that they can get into games if they work hard. They don’t have to be as good as the best players on the team, they just have to outwork them! This is incredibly motivating to your weaker players.
And it is a wake-up call for your stronger players. If they don’t up their effort level, they will find their playing time limited, which they are not going to like.
What’s a Parent To Do?
What is a parent to do when your child does NOT have a good coach who gets kids into games?
1) Check out the ground rules. Are there any playing time rules in this program? If not, go to the leadership of the program to propose this.
2) Check it out with your child. Is your son upset by not playing? Ask him how he feels about this. Whatever you do, don’t exclude him from the process and complain to the coach without consulting your child.
3) Cut out the middleman (that’s you!). Instead of talking to the coach, encourage your child to approach the coach. Parents complaining to coaches about their child’s playing time rarely has good results. On the other hand, coaches almost always respond well to a player who comes to them saying, “Coach, I’d like to play more. What can I do to get more playing time?”
4) Find out your options. Is there another program (perhaps one affiliated with Positive Coaching Alliance) that recognizes the importance of playing time for every athlete? If all else fails, and your kid is still sitting on the bench all the time, vote with your feet. Take your child to a better program.
A Final Thought
Coaches of selective teams where playing time is not guaranteed need to be completely clear about this. Much negativity results from parents being disappointed when their (perhaps unrealistic) expectations about their child’s playing time are not met.
Coaches, be absolutely clear at the beginning. Tell parents and players what they can expect in terms of playing time before they sign on to the team. If you are not going to get kids in the game unless you are confident they will contribute to a win on the scoreboard, say that at the beginning. It will save you a lot of grief down the road.
-- Jim Thompson, PCA Founder
We title this case study “The Limits of Sportsmanship” because sportsmanship (what PCA calls Honoring the Game) often is constrained by a win-at-all-cost mentality. Ron Smith asserted the need for room for acts of kindness in sports, but all too often these opportunities are never even noticed.
I have talked with coaches who do not want their players to help an opponent up even after the whistle blows because that might take the edge off their competitive killer instinct. This is a shame as the “fierce and friendly” approach to sports is a beautiful one. You compete fiercely to win but you don’t demonize your opponent and you can be friends after the game (and even within the game!).
Coaches who teach Honoring the Game will want to incorporate this example into their team culture. As Don Lafferty noted in his blog comment below, “the unique nature of the home run… provides a technical nuance not found in other sports.” But Double-Goal Coaches will want to prime players to be ready for opportunities like the one that Mallory and Liz seized upon...and the one in the lovely lacrosse story shared in Chris Carroll's blog comment.
In my presentation to high school athletes on the “Identity of the Triple-Impact Competitor” (who makes self, teammates and the game better), I share this softball incident and end my talk by asking them how they will respond when their opportunity appears. It won’t look exactly like the softball example, but sooner or later, if they continue competing, they will have a “Mallory Moment.” Whether they use it to make the game better depends on them.
Another aspect of a positive team culture (“the way WE do things HERE”) would be to want to win “fair and square.” James Johnson’s comment says, “Most truly serious athletes want to know that when they won, it was on their own effort” not on a technicality. Double-Goal Coaches emphasize to their team that winning by dishonoring the game is worse than losing.
I emphasize the role of the coach here because without a strong team culture of Honoring the Game, this could have degenerated into the rest of the team criticizing Holtman and Wallace for hurting their competitive position, especially in a game when they still had a chance at making the playoffs. I have seen little in the news stories about the Central Washington coach, but several commenters note that he must be doing something right. Barry King said, this was “a tremendous testament to doing it the right way and preparing athletes for careers as humans.” Michael Rando eloquently stated, “Inside the game, we live by a rulebook but the game and the rulebook are but a part of a larger game. Our lives.” And isn’t that what youth sports is supposed to be about? Yes!
Let’s not overlook the irony of the positive possibilities that arrive when things go wrong. Had Sara Tucholsky not hurt her leg rounding first, virtually no one would have ever known about this game. The fact that something went wrong created possibilities that Holtman seized. Had everything happened according to plan, just another game out of hundreds, nothing special. Instead, as Derek Bowers notes, “…both teams will remember this for the rest of their lives…”
Returning to the concept of the Triple-Impact Competitor who makes self, teammates and the game better, the Mallory Moment was a superb example of athletes seizing an opportunity to make the game better. And in doing so, Mallory Holtman and Liz Wallace make all of us who care about sports better.
-- Jim Thompson, PCA Founder
How do you respond?
What considerations inform your decision?
How, if at all, do you discuss this with your child?
Would your response vary depending on the age of your child?
Is there a certain age at which specialization makes the most sense?
Download and print this Case Study
Response by PCA Founder Jim Thompson
The comments on the PCA website about The Specialist are filled with insights, many based on personal experience with specialization. I encourage everyone reading this to check them out because they are well worth it. Thank you to all who took the time to share your thoughts with us all.
As I speak to groups of parents around the U.S., I am more often asked about the pressure they feel to encourage their child to specialize in one sport than any other issue. Often the question is asked in a way that suggests that the parents feel they have no choice but to acquiesce to the pressure, or their child will fall behind.
Here are some thoughts about dealing with the decision to specialize (or not):
1) It’s up to you. There is no one else who can advocate as well as you for what’s best for the child. It is up to parents to resist the pressure to specialize and step up to the responsibility of doing the right thing for their child. If we can’t resist pressure on behalf of our kids, when can we?
2) And your child. Depending on the age of your child, you will want to involve him in this decision. As writers below have noted, a young child may not be in a position to decide this, but even for a younger child, involving her in the discussion has to be a learning experience for her. She can see how you evaluate and discuss the coach’s statement and learn from you a little bit more about how to make good decisions. If the child is older, you absolutely will want to bring him into the conversation, even to the point of allowing him to make the decision after considering all the different aspects, pluses and minuses, etc.
3) Coach Conflict of Interest. Relying on the advice of a coach, no matter how successful or skilled he or she may be is inadequate. Coaches may have a conflict of interest that can skew their perceptions. A coach may want your child to specialize in his/her sport so much that it affects his/her judgment about what’s best for your child.
4) Multiple sports help. If your only goal is to shape your child into a great athlete (which is not a good idea!), you would have your child experience multiple sports. There are many examples of professional athletes who say their success in their ultimately-chosen sport was enhanced by their playing other sports until a pretty advanced age. General sports skills such as balance and game sense can be enhanced for an athlete’s ultimate sport by experience with other sports.
Another reason for exposing your child to multiple sports is because you don’t know which sport will catch his fancy to the point where he wants to stay with it for a lifetime.
5) The age of 12. Dan Gould of Michigan State’s Institute for the Study of Youth Sports says the problem isn’t specialization, but PREMATURE specialization. Most athletes who attain an elite level specialize at some point, but it is much later than many coaches and parents believe. The research indicates that for most sports, specialization before the age of 12 is not a good idea.
6) Dangers of specialization. While year-round focus on a single sport may speed up the acquisition of skills, there are dangers that can outweigh that advantage. Chief among these are burnout and repetitive stress injuries. Enjoyment makes it more likely that an athlete will be able to maintain the long-term commitment to a sport (something that is harder than it may seem) that is needed to reach elite status. And there are few activities that don’t get old when you do them all the time. Year-round specialization makes burnout more likely.
Repetitive stress injuries also increase with specialization, which then can undercut motivation. It’s hard to be as excited about a sport when it hurts to play the sport.
7) Child-Driven v. Adult-Driven. I would be much more open to specialization if the child is the one driving the decision. If a child says she wants to focus on a single sport year round, she is less likely to burn out, for example, than if she feels she has to do it to ensure a place on a team. Commitments freely entered into are more likely to be enjoyed than commitments one feels forced into making.
8) Your child’s chances. Tom Farrey in his new book Game On: The All-American Race to Make Champions of Our Children cites the “jockocracy” of professional sports. So many professional athletes are the offspring of former professional athletes. The chances of your child becoming a professional athlete in the absence of physical gifts are not good. Recognize this and don’t put so many eggs in the pro career or college scholarship basket.
9) The good news. Helping your child have fun and learn life lessons from her sports experience is a good strategy whether she makes the pros or not. If an athlete loves playing his sport and has the talent to be a professional athlete, he will find his love of the sport a big asset. If your child doesn’t ultimately have the ability to go pro, at least she will not be deprived of the chance for a lifelong love of sports and physical activity. Focusing your emphasis on your child having a good time with sports and taking away life lessons will benefit him in any event.
-- Jim Thompson, PCA Founder
• Is Coach Coates a good coach? Why or why not?
• Would you want your child to play for this coach?
• Does his winning record excuse his yelling?
• Would your answer change depending on the age of the athletes?
Download and print this Case Study
Response by PCA Founder Jim Thompson
First, let me thank the many of you who read and thought deeply about "Old Yeller." Thanks also to those of you who e-mailed it to others or made copies to take to a youth sports game or practice. And a special thank you to the many of you who entered your thoughts on our blog. Lots of insight there!
Coaching is much more art than science, and certainly is not a cookbook activity. There is no single recipe that will work all the time. Great coaching requires a foundation of values that you are absolutely clear about, together with the presence of mind to respond flexibly to what is happening in the moment. Athletes are different, game situations are different, etc., so it can be a tough topic to be definitive about.
Nonetheless, let me offer some thoughts on "Old Yeller."
Yelling is a limited tool to be used in a limited fashion. Kids (people) tend to block out continuous noise, and a coach who yells all the time risks losing his/her players' attention. Then when something serious comes along that needs to be addressed in dramatic fashion, a coach raising his/her voice seems just like normal, and the import is lost.
Much of the time, yelling is a distraction. Athletes usually need to focus on what they are doing. Being yelled at by a coach can distract them from focusing on what they need to do to make a play.
Yelling can make lessons harder to learn. If I am embarrassed to be yelled at, I am less likely to take to heart the information being communicated that might help me improve. Criticism given in a more respectful way can be more easily taken to heart.