Here is an example from a basketball coach's practice-
Have you ever heard of the home court advantage? How often do you
think a team wins on its home court? It turns out that a team wins
at home a lot more than when they are away. One reason for this is
the emotional support of the fans. It tends to lift our emotions
and make us play better.
We want to be able to play our best all of the time. To play our
best we have to keep our "Emotional Tanks" full. What is an
emotional tank? Well, it is like a gas tank in a car. When it is
full, we run well, but when it is empty, we can't go very
far.
Why is it important that we keep each other's tanks full? If our
emotional tank is empty, we become negative, and we give up easier.
If our tanks are full, however, we are optimistic and are able to
handle difficult situations. As the coach, I will do my best to
help fill your emotional tanks. To have a really great season, I
need your help.
Think about when you miss a free throw. What would someone say to
make you feel worse?"Nice job (sarcastically)," "You stink!" See,
that was easy. We call that draining the emotional tank. When you
criticize or insult your teammates, you make them feel worse.
That's why we call it draining the emotional tank. I will try not
to drain your emotional tank, but sometimes I will have to correct
you to help you learn the game. I will try to do this in a way that
keeps your emotional tank full.
What would someone say to make you feel better after you missed a
shot. ("Get the next one," "Shake it off!") We call that filling
the emotional tank. Here are some ways to fill the emotional
tank:
- Tell your teammate when you see him do
something well, or when you see him giving his maximum effort, even
if he does not make the play.
- Tell him when you see him improving. This will make him want to
continue trying hard to improve even more.
- Listen to your teammates. If your teammate has an idea he wants
to share, you can fill his tank by listening to what he has to say.
No one wants to be ignored.
I promise to do all of these things. Also, I want you to do
tank-filling activities with each other.
Here is a great way that you can help me. It is called the Buddy
System. Once in a while at practice, I'll ask you to pair up with a
buddy. It might be a different buddy every time. I want you to look
for the things that your buddy is doing well. Remember, though, you
have to be truthful, or else it won't mean anything. Also, try to
tell your buddies exactly what they did right. If your buddy makes
a nice pass, say "Good pass! Way to bounce it in to the low
post."
Do you think it is important to say more positives than negatives?
How many more positives should you say? I am going to try to shoot
for five positives for every negative. I don't want you to worry
about the exact number of positives you say, just remember, be as
positive as you can.
So, right now, pair up with someone else, and he will be your buddy
for today's practice. Later in the practice, I am going to have
each one of you report back to the team on what your buddy said to
you to fill your tank.
This season is going to be an especially great season if we support
each other and keep our emotional tanks full. With full emotional
tanks, we will be off to the races, and there is no limit to what
we can accomplish.
Now, who can tell me some ways to fill each other's emotional
tanks?